The Pain of Saying Goodbye
by DimitriAndRoza Belikov
Summary: Dimitri decided that the best thing for Rose is to leave her so she can successfully graduate and guard Lissa. Rose is having a hard time accepting the painful reality that Dimitri is gone and that the Academy wants to replace him. Is the 'New Guy' going to be accepted by Rose and the gang, or is he going to be nothing but trouble? This is my first fanfic,so please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY. THIS DISCLAIMER IS VALID THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE STORY. **

A note? Really? A NOTE?! This is how he says goodbye to me?

Rose, After considering Tasha's offer, I have decided that it would be best for both of us if I took it. Please understand that I want nothing but the best for you and wish you every happiness. Maybe we can meet again someday, but right now, your future with Lissa is too much at stake and I do not wish to complicate things for you. I have asked to be reassigned, so my replacement should be there in a few days. Be safe.

-Dimitri

This had to be the fifth time I'd read it, trying to find any underlying meanings, searching for a way that this terrible note couldn't be true. And for the fifth time, I didn't find anything. How in the hell did he have the right to decide what was the right choice for me? Why did he get to make that decision by himself? DAMMIT! This was possibly the hugest slap in the face I'd ever gotten.

After Mason… After the attack in Spokane, Dimitri had said that he loved me and he could never take Tasha's offer. He wanted me. I wanted him too, and he knew it. I went into that cave after him, knowing full well that I might die. There was nothing in this world that I wouldn't have done for him, and now he's gone. He hadn't given anything regarding his intentions away. This note was a complete surprise.

I checked the clock. It was nine o'clock a.m. in the human world, which meant it was almost the middle of the night for St. Vlad's. Maybe I could just feign sickness for tomorrow and then just stay in my room for the weekend as well. All class would remind me of was Dimitri. The extra trainings in the morning and the afternoon with him would be gone. His missing presence in Stan's class as well as the few other classes he stood in would be too much for me to bear. No. I just couldn't do it.

I changed into my pajamas, throwing the note in the back of my desk drawer. I didn't need it. I knew what it said by heart. I crawled under the covers, willing the world away. I checked in on Lissa hoping for a distraction; she was with Christian. I pulled my mind away and shoved her feelings as far away as possible. I didn't need any reminders of how that felt.

Rolling over, I cocooned myself in my blankets. I found that if I closed my eyes for too long, I saw the note behind my eyelids. Then Dimitri's face would flash. All the times we had had practice or we were just talking, they were just there. Then, the night of the lust charm crept into the forefront of my thoughts. I opened my eyes in an instant.

I don't know who I was trying to fool. I wasn't sleeping at all tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY! I ONLY OWN THE CHARACTERS I CREATE.**_

At some point in the night, I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, there was a huge thundering boom coming from the other side of my door. It was Lissa.

"Rose. Please open up. You have already missed your morning classes. Please, let me in."

It seemed that I had only one of two options. Option one was that Lissa was coming through that door on her own. Option two was that I got up and let her in before I found myself short a door.

I chose the latter. I liked my door attached to my wall.

I crossed my room and opened the door. "Sorry Liss. I just wasn't feeling well when I woke up this morning and I went back to bed."

"You know that you had that test today in Stan's class, right? That one worth a fifth of your grade? I mean, come on Rose. You had been talking about how much this test meant to you for two weeks. Are you even listening?"

"Yes. I said I was sorry." While she was talking, I had shut the door and went back to bed, turning my back to her and pulling the covers up over my head. Honestly, there was no reason for me to get up this morning; there was only for me to get up and realize that there was no practice session.

"What's wrong?" She finally asked.

"I just feel sick to my stomach and a little bit dizzy when I stand up," I answered truthfully.

She sat on the bed and ripped my covers back. She looked me straight in the eye. "No. There is something you are not telling me. You have that look on your face Rose. We are best friends. You can tell me."

I could feel her genuine concern for me through the bond. It made me feel even more horrible that she was worried about me on top of me feeling sorry for myself. I tried to hold back a sob. It didn't work.

"Oh, Rose. Please, let me help you."

"Dimitri _left_," I sobbed. "He left me. And do you know how I found out? He left me a fucking _NOTE_!"

"Dimitri? Guardian Belikov? But what do you… Oh. Oh my God Rose. I am so sorry."

"I can't do it Lissa. I can't get up and realize every morning that there are no extra practices to go to. Or that he won't be there guarding in the back of the classroom. Or that he won't be there to help me get through a bad day by listening to me during an evening practice. Or that he won't be there for trials." I was still crying, so if she understood me at all, it would have been a miracle.

"Oh my God Rose. I am so sorry," she said again. "I had no idea. Some best friend I am. It seems so obvious now that I look back. The worst part is that you couldn't even tell anybody because he was your mentor. I am so sorry."

Oh God. I hoped she wouldn't put two and two together. I would never blame her for Dimitri leaving. That was his choice, not her fault. The last thing I wanted was for her to think this was her fault. If she did figure it out, I would have to convince her otherwise. He claimed to have left to protect me. How can I not blame him but blame him at the same time? Why was I acting like such a girl?

_Because you love him._

Nothing could have been more painfully true.


	3. Chapter 3

The weekend flew by, so my private grieving period was rushed. I couldn't let anyone know how torn up I was on the inside because they would start asking questions. Lissa was the only one who truly knew how terrible I felt. She told our little circle of friends only that there was something wrong and I would tell them when I felt like it, but until then, look out for me. Literally, I thought I was going to die when I heard this conversation three times through the bond before I thought to block her out. I didn't need to be reminded how bad I felt or why I felt so horrible.

As I was getting ready for Monday classes, I tried not to focus on the time. Right now, I would be making my way across the quad to my dorm to shower after practice. I avoided my desk drawer like the plague. I would just ask Lissa or maybe even Christian to borrow a pencil today. No way was I going into that drawer over a writing utensil.

I could feel Lissa outside my door, hesitating to knock. I glanced around again, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything and then headed out the door.

"Hey Liss," I said shutting the door.

"Hey. Are you ready?"

I almost ran back into my room. Willing myself to get it together I nodded. Yes. I had to be ready. No distractions. _Guardians and novices alike lived by that rule_, I told myself. _ Apparently very literally._

As I went through the morning, everyone asked me how I was and why I had been gone on Friday. Holy shit. If this wasn't torture, I would have said the Strigoi in Spokane were tolerable at worst and friendly at best. There were some very obtuse people at this school. They just didn't know when to shut the hell up. No matter how often I didn't answer, they would badger me until I wanted to take them to the training room and show them a few of my newer moves. Thankfully, this kind of extensive torment only lasted for a few minutes before each period. I had Lissa in fifth period, Christian in sixth and seventh, and Eddie in eighth. My first four periods were all guardian classes and I had all of those with Eddie as well.

I couldn't sit through lunch and listen to everyone talk at once about how much fun their weekends were. I didn't want to watch Christian and Lissa watch each other lovingly. I didn't want to watch Eddie worry about breaking me, and I didn't want Adrian to watch with heartbreaking concern. Jill wouldn't really have been a problem, but Lissa had warned her to keep an eye on me as well. The girl didn't even know my tells. That just meant increased security all around from her. I escaped to the library, reading about animal behavior again.

"…_ the winning male would have the breeding rights to the entire pride. His job would be to decide who the better genetic match for him was and breed with her first, making her alpha female."_

I slammed the book shut, earning a glare from the librarian. God. Was it ever going to get better?

After that, Lissa had to come and drag me out of my room again. I guess I had been right about Jill upping the security because she had been sitting in the library as well and then told Lissa when I headed off into the direction of the Dhampir dorms instead of fifth period.

Later that week, Lissa informed me that she wanted to go shopping in Missoula and I was going to come with her. She then continued on by insulting my wardrobe and insisting she buy me some clothes too. I didn't really have a choice in the matter, so I just followed along and nodded. She talked to Guardian Petrev and convinced her that it sounded like a reasonable idea instead of a chance to partake in unruly behavior off of school grounds. The date was set for a week from tomorrow, which was next Saturday.

I would have to remember to thank Lissa for this. It might do me some good to get my mind on something else. Besides, I had convinced Stan to let me take that test on the date for its retakes. That had been a herculean task in and of itself. I don't think I could quite handle to acknowledge Lissa's reasons for the mall trip, so I just smiled and nodded and said thank you miraculously without crying. I knew she understood, and that just made me want to cry more. Why was I so lucky to have all of these wonderful friends?

Now all I had to do was bide my time and count down the days until I could hang out with my just best friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I know this one is kind of short. I just couldn't take it any further without it sounding funny:) Thank you guys SO MUCH for reading! I will post the next chapter soon to make up for the length of this one:)**

The next day, I couldn't find any reason to leave my room. It was a Saturday, and that meant I didn't have to be anywhere. Not anymore.

I checked in with Lissa. She was with Christian, Jill, Eddie, and Adrian.

"Can't you tell us anything? Why is Rose acting so strange?" asked Eddie. His concern was genuine.

"I'm sorry. It is not my place to say anything. When Rose is ready, she will tell you. She just can't take a lot of crap right now. Please, just respect that."

Thank you Lissa.

Adrian was who spoke next. "I have never seen her so quiet. She seems almost as if she is in a trance all the time. It is just so uncharacteristic of her." Adrian might have been the only one able to have guessed what was wrong with me. Somehow, he had figured out what was going on between me and Dimitri.

"Yeah," said Jill, "I haven't known her that long, but she feels off to me too. I just wish I knew what to do for her."

Yeah, I would definitely have to keep a closer watch on Jill. I wouldn't have a moment of peace with her around to watch me all the time.

A sharp knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I went to answer it. It was a dorm matron.

"Miss Hathaway? Guardian Petrov would like to see you. Would you please come with me?" She was waiting for me to reply, and I would have felt bad if I just slammed the door on her. She was being too nice for me to want to do that. Dammit. So I shoved my feet in my boots headed out the door. Hopefully Alberta would just tell me that she had noticed a slip in my performance or something and that I needed to get it together and I could be on my way. Something told me that I wasn't going to get off that easily.

As we came to Alberta's office, the matron smiled and held the door open for me to go through.

I wanted to run when I saw the reason I was there.


	5. Chapter 5

I quickly schooled my expression. This was possibly the second worst thing that could happen to me right now. The first worst thing had already happened.

"Rose, please have a seat," said Alberta. The problem was that there was only one open chair to sit in, and it was next to a tall, muscular man who was obviously a guardian. He turned toward me and nodded, not curtly, but in a 'hello' kind of way.

I pulled out the already pulled out chair and scooted it over while simultaneously scooting it back in. Maybe they would both get the message.

Nope.

Addressing me, Alberta broke the silence. "I know Guardian Belikov had been your mentor since you returned to the academy, but since his departure, you have not had any extra training sessions. This is Guardian Whylde. He is to be Guardian Belikov's replacement."

Before the guy could introduce himself, I said, "With all due respect Guardian Petrov, I don't think I need any more extra training sessions. I believe that I am caught up now. I excel in my guardian classes and I have been improving with my academic grades. Please, I need to focus on my own now."

Guardian Petrov looked at me skeptically. It had hardly been a year since mine and Lissa's return. I could tell she thought I needed someone to keep me in line. Apparently this guy was up for the job. I knew I had just lost the argument when she sent me a last withering look and continued speaking.

"Rose, I must agree that you have improved greatly in your time back. Your efforts are not overlooked in the slightest. No. That is not at all what I was implying. I just think it would be good for you to see this mentoring commitment through."

"Guardian Petrov, I couldn't finish this mentoring commitment if I wanted to because the other half of this situation left. I cannot do this, and I refuse to do this. Being walked out on is so much more devastating when you are counting on the person to be there and invest as much time in you as you did for them. I will not go through with this. I have learned a very valuable lesson in all of this, however, if it makes you feel any better. I'm sorry to be a disappointment to you."

And with that, I stood and left, not sparing a glance toward Guardian Whylde and not waiting to be dismissed by Alberta. Maybe there would be consequences for my behavior, but I didn't care. Sitting there having to talk about Dimitri was tearing me up all over again.

I didn't want some stranger to fill in that gap in my mornings and evenings. He didn't need to know me, and I sure as hell didn't need to know him. Why the hell couldn't Alberta just let it be? I don't think I could have made myself any clearer without telling them about me and Dimitri.

There went about thirty minutes of my Saturday. Honestly. My life was horrible enough right now; I didn't need to get all cozy with a stranger.


	6. Chapter 6

Lissa managed to drag me out of my dorm the next day to go to church. I thought this would be an ok idea until I walked inside. Dimitri told me once that he sat here because it gave him peace. It was almost too much to bear as I passed the spot we sat talking.

No. I couldn't do this. Oh my God, I needed to get out of here. A heaviness settled on my chest as if a thousand pounds suddenly came crashing down on me. I would sit close to the aisle and leave as soon as I could. I felt bad for leaving after I told Lissa I would come, but she would have to understand.

The priest began his sermon and we all stood to say a prayer together. As he told us to shut our eyes, I kept mine open, waiting for everyone to bow their heads. There. Even the priest had his eyes closed.

I quietly slipped down the aisle and through the door. Relief flooded me and I took a deep breath as I started walking away from the church. I felt restless and I needed to do something.

For some reason, I ended up in the gym. It was empty, save for a bit of equipment in the corner. I decided to go change and jog a few laps. As I started running, I recalled the first time Dimitri ran with me. He was there, investing his time in me, making me do my best. I hadn't wanted to disappoint him.

After about twenty minutes of running, I decided to work out. I found a very battered punching bag and heaved it over to hang it up. I realized that even if I hauled the bag all the way from the corner, I would never be able to reach its hook. Damn short people problems. Oh well. I was going to try anyway. Grabbing the chair from the corner, I climbed onto the seat and hoisted the bag from the ground.

It was almost in the hook when I felt the chair slide out from under me and then I was falling. A pair of strong arms caught me before I could hit the ground. For a second, I dared to hope.

As I looked up from my rescuer's arms, I saw that it was Guardian Whylde. My throat closed up and I almost started crying. Damn that fleeting hope I had felt just a moment ago. I was not going to cry in front of this guy. He was supposed to be Dimitri's replacement. Just… no. Seeing my face as I looked up at him, concern clouded his eyes. He must have seen the hurt there before I could smooth it out.

"Are you all right?" I noticed that he had yet to set me down, so I started squirming around. He nearly dropped me before he set me on my feet.

"Yes. Thank you." I said, not meeting his eyes.

"What are you doing out here on a Sunday?" Oh my God. Really? He was going to quiz me down with his guardian tone of voice? He was trying to sound superior and in charge. Fine. I could play this game too.

Not answering him, I grabbed the chair and climbed back on it, successfully hanging up the punching bag this time. I pushed the chair over and started in on it.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked again.

"Why? Are you writing a book? I've got news for you. You're wasting your time. It is extremely hard to be a successful author, and I am not the most exciting subject to be writing about."

He was not amused with me at all, though I was quite proud of myself.

"Miss Hathaway, you skipped out of church and went off to a secluded area. That is suspicious behavior for a student on a day off."

This guy needed to lighten up. "So you were watching me, huh? That's not weird or anything, comra-"

I couldn't say anything else. He was not comrade. He was not my mentor. He was not a confidante. He was just another guardian, except it was way worse for me personally because of the reason he was here in the first place. I suddenly felt very small.

With him not having had the chance to say anything else to me, I turned and started running despite my twenty minute run earlier. I did not need to confine myself to the gym, I realized. I needed space.

"Rose, wait! Come back here!"

I kept running.


	7. Author's Note Please Read:)

**A/N: I know this really should be a chapter, and I am sorry about that. I will post as soon as I can, but with moving and school and work, I seem to pass out as soon as I walk through the door:). Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone reading my story! Seeing all of the views just drives me to want to write even more, so really, thank you! **

**I am having a bit of trouble with where I am at in my story (writer's block is not fun). I am a few chapters ahead of what I have posted right now, but I would really love to hear any suggestions that anyone has:) My only thing is that I don't really want to make Rose pregnant. I might if I can think of a good enough reason, but as of right now, I just don't see it in the future. **

**Please, Please, Please! ANY AND ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOMED! Thank you so much for reading and encouraging me to continue this story! **

**-Love,**

** DimitriAndRoza Belikov**


	8. Chapter 8

I found Lissa on my way back to the dorm. "Sorry." I said. I just needed for her to understand.

"It's ok Rose. I'm glad I got you out of your room today," she told me wholeheartedly. She was genuinely concerned about me. I felt bad now.

Well, I would just have to make it up to her. "I was thinking-"

"A dangerous thing for you."

"- maybe we could have a girl's night. Just you and me and a movie streaming over the internet. Also, there will be chips. The sour cream kind." I said with a smile. It felt foreign on my face. Lissa was suspicious of me. She was expecting me to tell her that I needed to spend the rest of the day in my room. Alone. Or that I wished she had never asked me to come today. A girl's night was the last thing she was expecting.

"That sounds like fun Rose! Sure! Let's plan it for tonight. I know it is a school night, but oh well," she said with a smile. "Great," I said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she did. "I am going to take a shower. I'll see you later!"

I was walking around the corner to my dorm when I ran smack in to someone.

It was Adrian.

"Whoa little dhampir, careful," he said, steadying me. "Sorry, I didn't see you."

"It's fine."

After an awkward pause, he broke the silence, "Where did you go Rose?"

I knew he was not just talking about this morning. He was talking about the whole past week. How much had he figured out already? He was the only one who had his suspicions about me and Dimitri, but I don't know if he ever pieced everything together.

"Adrian, have you ever had something that was really great? Something that you would die to protect? Something that you could not live without?" I was staring him straight in the eyes. He needed to understand. "I lost that thing. I didn't know how to deal with it. I still don't. That's where I've been Adrian. I don't know how long I'll be there, but that's where I've been and that's where I am." I felt the pain creep onto my face, contorting it into the mask that only my dark room has seen.

Adrian pulled me toward him, locking me against him in an embrace. "It's going to be ok Rose. I do not know what you are going through exactly, but I know that it will get better. I am here, and so are Lissa and Eddie. We are right here."

A sob escaped me. I needed to pull it together. Jeez. Here I was, in the middle of the quad, crying. I hastily wiped my eyes and hugged Adrian harder.

"Thank you Adrian."

As we pulled apart, he said, "I'm sorry about Belikov."

I half expected he had known for a while, but I had to ask anyway. "When did you figure it out?"

"When he came to my room at the ski lodge after you and Lissa."

"Oh. That was kind of obvious, wasn't it?"

Another pause.

"Thank you Adrian."

"Anytime Rose."

**A/N: Ok, so, this is the last chapter I got to and edited before my brain went a bit haywire in trying to sleep, work, pack, move, and go to school:) There were a couple of really good suggestions that I saw in the comments, so I might try and fit them into my story. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS! Also, tomorrow is the first day I have had off in about two weeks, so I will be writing and hopefully posting by this weekend! YAY! I am still open to suggestions, so please leave a review:D Thank you guys SO much for reading. You have no idea how much it motivates me to see that people want to read what I am writing. Have a fantabulous day!**

**Love,**

** -DimitriAndRoza Belikov**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi everyone! I am sorry that it took me so long to update. It's been crazy. **

**Anyway, I wanted to address a comment that I had to remove yesterday because of the assumptions and negativity it implied about my story. If any of you saw that post, I am sorry. That person was not a beta or confidante of mine, and their accusations of what was -or more accurately, was not- happening in this story were of completely a fabrication of what they thought was going to happen. I do not want to say what they said because the way you guys interpret my story is completely up to you and I did not want there to be any influence where it was not wanted. **

**I sincerely hope everyone is enjoying reading The Pain Of Saying Goodbye:) **

**And now, without further ado, Chapter 9!**

I had no idea how I was going to deal with Dimitri's replacement. In the gym, he seemed a bit unsure of how to address me. I guess I couldn't blame him. I _did _make the situation in Alberta's office awkward as hell.

That small admission to myself didn't make anything easier though.

It had been three days since the encounter in the gym. Since my friends were still not letting me out of their sight, I decided to use this to my advantage and make sure someone was around every time Guardian Whylde and I crossed paths. I haven't told anyone about the reason he was here or that there was a connection- though it was microscopic- between us. Lissa is the one who knows the reason he is here because he is her new guardian.

So far, this week has gone by with minimal activity. I haven't been back to the gym since Sunday by myself, so I took to running in the mornings to keep myself occupied. Of course, there were guardians acting as security detail out and about in the mornings, so when I saw that Whylde was patrolling somewhere, I either took a detour or decided that enough was enough and headed back toward the showers. I honestly had never put as much effort in avoiding somebody as I did with him. I think I was also just using him as a distraction from Dimitri. I had something new to focus on instead of thinking what time I should have been going down to practice or where in the school I would have seen him.

On Thursday morning, I decided that I could take a day off from my morning run to sleep a bit longer. There was a particularly nasty test that I had to study for last night, and I didn't get to bed until about two in the morning, vampire time. I decided that I deserved a little bit of R&R, even if that only meant sleeping for another hour or so.

As I got ready for the morning, I couldn't shake off the feelings that the dream I was having had left behind. Lissa was dreaming about Christian. Honestly, do I have to go any further? Those gooey feelings were not pleasant to wake up to. Remembering how that felt was like reading Dimitri's note all over again and then having the realization dawn on me that he was not coming back. I was really starting to regret sleeping in now.

As I glanced at the clock, I noted that I was about twenty minutes early. I would just have to swing by the cafeteria and grab a few doughnuts before heading to class. This was the first time that I hadn't been escorted anywhere in a long time.

As I rounded the corner, I instantly regretted it.

"Hello, Rose," said Guardian Whylde.

"Hello, um, well, I don't actually know your first name, so, I guess, just hi," I bumbled like an idiot.

Again, here I was, making things really awkward for everyone. Where was that Rose bravado when I needed it? Time to dig deep and let it rip.

"You are not supposed to address me by my first name, Rose."

"Oops, well I guess you will have to give me and everyone else here detention. Seriously, lighten up." I started to brush past him when he was suddenly there, blocking my path. We had managed to get within two feet of each other, making me nostalgic and very pissed off.

"Haven't you ever taken a hint? This one's called 'leave me alone because I want nothing to do with you.' I thought I made myself perfectly clear in Alberta's office. I no longer need to be babysat by anyone. I don't want extra training sessions, and I am not interested in anything more you or anyone else has to say about it. I think that it isn't possible to get any freaking clearer than that."

"Rose, I do not think you are being very truthful with yourself. You are the kind of student that would take any opportunity to better yourself and your skills. I have seen your record. You have a remarkable history with Strigoi for someone your age. You seem to have learned at least a little bit of discipline since you and the princess returned to the academy. Who was your mentor again?"

I couldn't tell if he was toying with me or if he was genuinely worried about me. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't Dimitri. Dimitri would have been genuinely concerned. I wasn't sure how to read this guy, so I couldn't be sure of his intentions.

"Anyway," he continued after I didn't answer him, "I am only concerned about you. Someone with a record as remarkable as yours shouldn't throw it away for no good reason."

I got the impression that he wanted to have the training sessions with me that I had given up as soon as Dimitri left. I got the impression that he wanted to get to _know _me. This was starting to make me feel a bit weirded out.

"Well, thank you for your concern, but I had no intention of giving up on my future. I just realized that after my mentor left, I no longer needed to be babysat, as I said before. If people want to worry about me, then that is their problem. I just don't have the time or will to make everyone happy. Good bye Guardian Whylde."

That was my polite way to say F you and stay out of my business.


	10. Chapter 10

**A bit of bad language is in this one. Maybe three or four words in total? Anyway, just a heads-up. **

Thanks to Guardian Asshole, I didn't have time to stop and get any doughnuts before class. Thankfully, Eddie had some foresight to pick me up a couple.

Later that day, I decided that it was time for me and Lissa to have a talk about her new guardian.

"I don't know Liss. He just seems a bit too friendly for someone who is supposed to be a guardian of the princess and what they think is a suitable suitable replacement for," deep breath, "my mentor." I still couldn't say his name out loud to anyone, but I was doing better at acknowledging his existence.

"And niceness is a bad thing? Maybe he really does just want to help. People are capable of that kind of stuff, you know," Lissa said, not missing a beat. She has been really great at letting me go at my own pace, never pushing or saying anything about normalcy and my lack of it. Not like our other friends, with the exception of Adrian. I didn't tell her about mine and Adrian's talk the other day, but I had a feeling that she already knew.

"I just get the feeling that he wants something on a personal level. Not in a relationship kind of way, but an acquaintance kind of way. It's like he wants to know me."

"It sounds like he is a normal person who wants to have some formalities before starting a new chapter. Being in a mentor/novice relationship takes a lot of time and patience. Maybe he just wants to know you before you start training with him."

Faint scalding pain ripped around in my heart for a second, but I chose not to address what Lissa's words said to me. Having everyone tiptoe around me because they didn't want to say the wrong thing was not how I wanted my life to be. "And just what makes you think I would start training with him?"

"I overheard Alberta talking to Alex about you, and-

"Who?"

"Alex. His full name is Alexander Whylde. Didn't you know that?"

"No. In case you haven't noticed, I have tried to have as little to do with him as possible. Anyway, why was Alberta talking to _him_ about _me_?"

"Well, it seems she is worried about you. You may have to start seeing a counselor again because they have 'noticed a shift in your behavior after Belikov left.' They don't see you as somebody who has lost someone, they see you as someone who is displaying uncharacteristic behavior because her mentor walked out on her, leaving her with no structure or advancement in her classes. Rose, you have gone above and beyond what any of the novices here are doing. They want to keep you that way so you don't lose your drive to achieve even more. Just because you could crush your trials right now doesn't mean they are done with you, and they are willing to do anything to keep you going like you were before."

This all came as a bit of a shock to me. I knew that I was above average when it came to my real-world experience and skillset, but I had no idea they were treating me like an experiment. I refused to think that Dimitri had known about this, because he would have told me. Right?

"I don't think that they are treating you like an experiment, they just didn't realize the terms of your focus relied solely on a reciprocal mentor. They understand that now, but they don't understand the lengths that that term goes to." It was like she could read my mind.

"Well," I said finally, "I think that I really hated Deidre's office the first time and I really don't want to go back. If there really are no more options, then I guess I can just do a trial run with him and see how it goes."

Those words burned coming out of my mouth, but they needed to be said. I needed to have a new focus. Maybe trying to actually learn something new would not be such a bad thing.

But, then again, I was secretly hoping that if my skillset was so far advanced, I could just knock Alexander on his ass and be done with the whole thing.

**A/N Sorry about the wait on this one. I literally wrote this one in thirty minutes and then posted it. Sorry about any grammar/spelling mistakes as well. Thank you for all of your reviews and thank you to everyone reading! Let me know how you felt about this scene. I wasn't sure about writing Lissa here, but Rose needed to have this conversation with her. It kind of sets up a vague event for later. I am making this up as I go, with no outline, so that is kind of why I had a hard time with this one. Anyway, please tell me what you thought of this little exchange. Thank you all for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

The next day, I decided to pay a visit to Alberta's office. Maybe they would see me pushing myself into this as more of a 'normal' thing than refusing extra sessions because I don't need them.

"So, Rose, you have changed your mind about the extra sessions?"

"Yes," I said, lying through my teeth. "I decided that if I can better my techniques, then I would have a better chance in protecting Lissa. Besides, I have been a bit bored with my guardian classes lately. It will be interesting to see what Alex can show me."

"We have titles for a reason Miss Hathaway." She didn't sound very upset about my calling Alex by his first name, though. She was just thrilled that I wanted to continue my training. She did, however, pick up on me dissing the school's lack of challenging guardian classes, because she said, "Guardian Whylde is one of the best Guardians that this school has ever seen. He is experienced in training one-on-one and he has extensive field experience. There could be no better candidate to fill this position."

Did she even know how much I wanted to punch her in the face right now? Yeah, no, probably not.

"Well, that will all become apparent in good time, Guardian Petrov. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice today. When do I start practice?" That was the best I could do without igniting a nuclear explosion.

"You will start tomorrow morning an hour and a half before school. You will have two practices; one will be in the morning and the other is in the evening after school, just like your previous training sessions."

I stood and faced her. "Nobody has the ability to replicate those sessions . There is absolutely nothing that could even come _close_ to comparing with them. These sessions with Guardian Whylde are a new chapter for me, not a continuation of one. Do not make the mistake of thinking that I will pick up where I left off."

She was speechless. Finally.

I turned and left, wondering yet again if there would be repercussions for behaving the way I did in Alberta's office. I probably shouldn't have said some of those things, but I couldn't let her talk about Dimitri that way. If his training sessions were as bad as she suggested they were, I would have been dead by now. Maybe I was just overreacting.

Pushing those thoughts aside for now, I checked my watch and saw that –if I ran- I could make it to first period.

**A/N I know this is kind of short, but I needed to write out this little snippet between Alberta and Rose. I really enjoyed writing this! thank you guys for reading and please review:):)!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Hey! Please tell me what you think of this chapter and also what you think Alex looks like. I just remembered that I never put a character description in for him. Also, Please tell me what you think is going to happen with him. I am at a fork in the road with him, so suggestions and comments would be appreciated! Thank you for reading!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D**

**-Love DimitriAndRoza Belikov**

I was watching for Alex all through the morning, waiting to see if I could tell when Alberta told him the news. The tricky part was making sure he didn't catch me watching.

I was dreading facing him after I had so adamantly refused the extra practices. I hadn't given much thought to how I would be able to cope with being in the gym again with another 'mentor.' However, I would do just about anything to keep the Academy from looking over my shoulder constantly, wondering if I was ok and how to make my training more in-depth. Maybe this would sate them long enough for me to attempt even a charade of normalcy.

Unfortunately, since the shopping trip with Lissa meant leaving school grounds, Alex, being her guardian, was coming too. Maybe this would turn into a guarding exercise like it did when we went to Missoula.

That meant I would be her other guardian and have to work with him. Damn.

Well, we can't have everything now, can we? I decided that these were things to worry about later, seeing as how I had no control over them.

*****The Next Day*****

Waking up to the sound of my alarm at the butt crack of dawn was SO not on my agenda this morning. Remembering why I had to get up this early was almost enough to make me regress, but I had to push through it. If Dimitri came back right now, I would probably kill him for leaving, bring him back, and kill him again for being the reason I had to get up so early and go to practice with someone I didn't even trust, let alone know. Let's all hope he doesn't.

Deciding to stick to the plan, I dressed in my workout capris, my hoodie, and put my hair up into its ponytail. Maybe I should cut my hair. There was no reason for it to be long anymore.

As I made my way across the campus, I had to force myself to keep walking. I really didn't want to do this.

I had to pause at the door of the gym. Taking a deep breath, I had to steel myself for what wasn't inside.

I finally felt my resolve reach its peak and pushed open the door.

Alex was already there, and he had the radio going. Gritting my teeth, I walked inside. He was just finishing up getting the gear out we would be using this morning. It looked like we were going to be sparring.

"Hello, Rose," he said. "So you changed your mind about practicing?"

"You could say that."

He gave me a puzzled look. No way was I explaining myself. I couldn't wait to get those gloves on so I could knock him out and be done with this.

"Well, whatever made you change your mind, I am glad that you did. Do you have any idea how many people talk about you? A novice that took down two Strigoi? That is unheard of. I am glad that you decided to work on perfecting your skills and that I am the one who can help you." By this point, we had both put on our gloves and taken our stances on opposite sides of the circle. I was past the point of knocking him out, I wanted to kill him. How dare he talk about things like that to me? He started the session by feinting to the right.

"So I am a conquest to you," I said casually, dodging. Like almost any other guy, he knew that he had said the wrong thing.

"No, that is not at all what I meant. I just meant-

"Yeah, I know what you meant. Do not ever speak to me that way again. Have you ever lost someone? Did you see them die right in front of you because a Strigoi snapped his neck? Well, have you?"

"No."

"No, you haven't. I may be some sort of an experiment to the school, but the feelings I have are real. I am not something to be studied and improved or someone to be chased after. Mason was a good friend to me. I miss him every day." I was really angry now. He opened his left side to me and I took it. I nailed him right under the ribs above his kidney. He staggered out of the circle. I straightened up and we looked at each other.

"I am sorry."

"I don't care. What else did you have planned for the much-talked about Rose Hathaway? Are we done?"

"No," he said, a bit dazed. "We are going to spar and then run."

Not answering, I hunkered back down into my defensive stance. I found that his style was very different from Dimitri's, but his was lacking in the foresight department. He would see what I was going to do only a second before I did it. Once I got a feel for his moves, I began to predict what he was going to do in sequences. He was particularly fond of the block-feint-feint-roundhouse-back one. He only used it three times, but in a span of thirty minutes, that was a lot of uses. We went for five rounds, not counting the very first one, and I won four of them. He was a lot more cautious of me after that first one though. If training with me was a personal thing for him, then he had to know I wouldn't make it a walk in the park. If I had a choice, I would have just walked out by now, but If Dimitri leaving had taught me anything, it was the perfection of impulse control.

After sparring, we out up the equipment and headed outside to run. Much to my dismay, he had planned on running with me. As I ran, I pushed. I did everything I could so that he would fall behind, but that never happened. He was staying with me easily. The remaining ten minutes of practice, we walked a half of the last lap to cool down and did cool down stretches. As we wrapped up, he turned to me.

"I really am sorry. I didn't mean to sound so inconsiderate. I do think that if you keep training that you will get even better. I guess I was just thinking of you in terms of the stories I have heard."

"Well that seems to be a common mistake everyone keeps making." I said, sounding annoyed. I fixed him with a cold look. "I know now that you were expecting me to be a little girl who miraculously killed two Strigoi before she graduated, living only by sheer chance. While there is a little truth to that, the bigger factor was that my previous mentor was _extremely good_ at what he did. He gave me the skills to survive and I used them. Whether you understand that or not is not my problem, but I will NOT tolerate you talking to me about things you do not care enough to ask me about first. Unfortunately, I have agreed to do these practices again for some reason unbeknownst to you, so I will be here tonight, whether you will be or not."

God, I needed to stop talking so much. I guess I picked up some vocabulary in Dimitri's absence, because I sounded like I was actually passing English with something higher that a C.

Anyway, I stared him down, waiting for an acknowledgement of some kind before I left this time.

"Rose, I am sorry. I really am. However, if these practices are going to work, there needs to be some form of respect established. I started out on the wrong foot with you. Why don't we start out by acting professional when speaking to each other. I won't ask you about anything you don't want me to and you won't continue to insult me and I won't tell Guardian Petrov about your conduct today."

I wished we were still sparring.

"Maybe, instead of threatening to report me, you should think about everything you said to me today. I am a conquest to you. If I told Alberta what you said, she would flip shit. How about we call a truce and start over tonight at practice. I will try to reign in my personality, because it is obviously too much for you, and you don't talk to me about things you don't understand. I will see you tonight Guardian Whylde."


	13. Chapter 13

Apparently Alex decided to keep his mouth shut about what happened in the gym. We met like nothing had happened earlier and barely spoke a word to each other all evening… that is, unless you count him yelling at me to run harder as talking.

It was Friday night, thank God. That meant no practices this weekend. That also meant that the shopping trip with Lissa was in about nine hours. Yes, I was counting. Alex confirmed my suspicions about co-guarding together at practice tonight. He broke the news to me _after_ sparring though, so I couldn't throttle him without getting into trouble. There would only be me and Alex and two other guardians this time, all from the academy and all cleared of background checks and mental stability. There would not be a repeat of the last time.

As I turned from my dresser after changing into my pajamas, I saw the drawer in my desk that held Dimitri's note. It had only been two weeks and it felt like three lifetimes had already passed. Maybe Lissa was right and this outing tomorrow would be a good thing for me. I immediately shut down that train of thought. If I went there tonight, there would be no returning.

Lying in bed waiting for sleep, I tried very hard not to think of the last time I co-guarded with Dimitri. He wasn't replaceable. I literally could not even stress that enough to Alberta without her figuring things out. If he was never coming back, I couldn't tell anyone anyway because it might impact his future, whatever it may be. I wouldn't want him to have a label because of me.

And then there was Alex. He seemed think I was some sort of milestone for him to tuck under his belt. I briefly thought of being nicer to him. After all, it wasn't his fault that he was here now… I didn't think. Maybe I could consider it. It would be hell on me too if I had to be with someone I openly despised. And, as much as I hated to admit it, he had a point. I had learned how much mutual respect contributed to a relationship, no matter if it was an acquaintance or if it was with someone you really loved.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know, I was sitting on the beach with Adrian sitting three feet away from me.

"Hi Adrian." I must not have sounded genuine, but he didn't say anything. I was working on it, at least. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Hi Rose, it's good to see you too," he said with a smile. "I was just wondering how you were doing. You seem like you are holding up, but I know you, and that is just a show. Tell me, how are you doing?"

"Horribly. Well, actually, only a little bit less than horribly. It is hard to tell the difference."

"The only thing that matters is that _you_ can tell the difference." He paused thoughtfully. "What's this about a new mentor that you agreed to train with?"

"Well, for starters, it appears that the academy has been tracking my progress in much more depth than I thought. Since D… um… they thought it would be a good idea to continue my training, even though I could lay just about any one of them out. So, I chose not to be under the intense watch of the school and my old shrink. I thought if I picked my extra sessions back up, they would give me some space. I am still waiting to see if this theory is true." I said that last part mostly to myself.

"I know all about shrinks. They can be helpful, but the amount of annoyance they can inflict upon someone if enough to make you go insane." He glanced at me at that last part and we burst out laughing.

This small reprieve was nice. This was the lightest I had felt for the last two weeks. It felt good to smile again. I began thinking of the days when Adrian wanted to have a relationship with me. He had been a gentleman about it when I told him that I couldn't. Since then, he has been like a brother to me. I couldn't have been happier about how things turned out between us.

"I hear you and Lissa are going to Missoula tomorrow," he says after a while.

"Yeah. I am looking forward to spending some time with her. Unfortunately, Alex will be there too."

"Well, he is her guardian. Anyway, I hope you have a good time. Try not to kill him. And, Rose? Have fun."

With those last words, the beach dissolved into a mist, leaving me to my own dreams.

**A/N I hope you guys are still reading! I wrote this chapter mostly as an impromptu thing. People seemed to like it when I wrote Adrian and Rose together the last time. I have no intentions of them getting together, but I didn't want them to be completely separated from each other (Spoilers Ahead) like in the end of Last Sacrifice. I felt like it would be good for them to at least be friends. So anyways, PLEASE REVIEW. It really motivates me to keep writing****. Thank you guys so much!**

**-Love DimitriAndRoza Belikov.**

**PS. I am really excited about the next chapter and I plan on posting it later today:):):):):)!**


	14. Chapter 14

Waking up in the daytime is a strange thing to do for someone on a night schedule. As I was getting ready to go to the mall, I debated on what to wear. It would have to be sturdy enough to fight in, but dressy enough to look like I was just hanging out with my friend. I decided on my jeans with a semi-dressy black t-shirt that had a modest V-neck and my Pumas that Liss had gotten me last year for Christmas. After I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door.

I arrived at Lissa's room a few minutes early, so I waited on her bed for her to finish getting ready. We walked together to the two SUVs that were going to take us to Missoula. As we got closer, Lissa went ahead and climbed into the back seat while Alex pulled me aside.

"Here. Be sure to put this somewhere easily accessible and out of sight." He handed me a stake. Wow. That was pretty shocking to me, especially after our blow out at the beginning of our practices. Having a silver stake was no longer a thing of awe to me, however. After the attack on the school, the gravity of experience with them and what we use them for had really sunken in; I no longer felt the excitement of getting to carry a silver stake. I was grateful they let me carry one today though. It made me feel safer knowing I could protect myself and Lissa if the need arose.

"Thank you," I said to him, sounding genuine for the first time in two weeks.

He gave me a wondering look. I also believe that was the nicest I had been to him since I met him.

After tucking the stake away, I climbed in the back seat next to Lissa. "So you're armed now? Was that wise of them?"

"Laugh all you want. At least I will have it if I need to use it," I said semi-jokingly. "So, what are you planning on buying today?"

Towards the end of the ride, Alex turned around to me and we started discussing a guarding strategy. It sounded basically like the plan I had had with Dimitri before.

No. No distractions today. This was my day with Lissa. This was my day to guard her. This was my day to prove that I could be a professional guardian. Adrian had suggested I have fun today. No. This day would go off without a hitch.

We piled out of the SUVs, I took my place next to Lissa and off we went; Alex, Xavier, and Gabriel followed a ways behind, looking like some buddies ready to hang out at the mall. We hit Famous Footwear, Banana Republic, True Religion, and JC Penny's before lunch. We had about twelve bags in total, so we handed them off to Gabriel to take back to the car.

"What are you eating for lunch Rose?"

"I think I am going to have Panda. Aren't you going to eat anything?"

"I might get a slice of pizza or something, but Dr. Olendski gave me a few thermoses of blood before we left. This sunlight thing is tiring." She said all of this with a smile, but I could tell it was bothering her a little bit. I was a horrible guardian.

"Lissa! Why didn't you say something before? We would have sat down for a little bit, I know you are doing this for me, and I really am enjoying myself, but you are not allowed to self-sacrifice so that I have a good time."

"Okay, okay. I get it. Fine. We will sit down for lunch and take our time, but then back to shopping! There are a few stores I want to take you to still."

I sighed. "Alright. Let's sit down so you can drink something first and then would you mind standing in line with me? I can't leave you by yourself with no guardian."

"Of course." We sat down at a table closer to the restaurants than the openness of the food court, and Lissa took out her thermos and took a huge swig. After about five minutes of talking about the stuff we bought and when we would wear it, Lissa and I went up to stand in line at Panda.

I hated their Orange Chicken, but I loved their Chow Mein and their Broccoli and Beef, so that's what I got for lunch. After I paid, we went and sat back down. The table we chose to sit at was pushed up to another two on each side, so Alex and the other two guardians sat with us. It made no difference whether people were paying attention or not. This way, there were two guardians –me being counted as a guardian- sitting on either side of Lissa. Xavier went to get lunch for the other two and a slice of pizza for Lissa, who decided she wanted to eat something after all. As soon as he was back, we all started eating.

I was half way through my lunch when it hit me. I froze.

**A/N I know I am mean, but, I felt like I needed to end it here. Plus, I am now job hunting, so a lot of my focus is gone when it comes time for me to write. I am really excited about this chapter and the next chapter, which I will post as soon as I have it written and edited. I have a few things to work out with the broad formatting of this story, but other than that, it is almost all impromptu. As you can imagine, that has its drawbacks when attempting to write five chapters out fluently. So anyways, I won't bore you any more with technicalities****J****. I hope you aren't too angry with me for leaving things like this****J****. Please tell me what you think and I will have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Have a fantabulous day!**

**-Love DimitriAndRoza Belikov**

**PS. What do you think happened to Rose?**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N I am very excited for this chapter! I had a hard time deciding some of the events that needed to happen after this chapter, so that's why I left the cliffhanger in the last one. I am still deciding on some stuff, but I can post this now almost confident that things are going to go according to plan****J****. I also wanted to give a shout out to Dream Craziness for being inspiring through both her stories and her comments! Thank you! Please keep reading ad commenting!**

**And now, I give you chapter 15.**

This was not happening. The pair of eyes that met mine was only about three tables over. They were chocolate brown with a few loose strands of hair framing them; the rest of the hair was back in a ponytail. The woman those eyes sat across from had a mane of black hair and a voice that was strong but feminine, and it was becoming more grating as the seconds wore on.

Tasha seemed to notice that Dimitri was no longer giving her his full attention and turned to see what he was looking at. She got up to head over as soon as she spotted me and Lissa, wearing what looked to be a genuine smile the whole time. Lissa turned to see what I was staring at and almost choked on her pizza. I immediately put down my fork, not hungry anymore. I was now praying that I wouldn't throw up.

Of course she had to bring Dimitri over here too. Oh, wait. I forgot that he had to come with her as her guardian. I couldn't look him in the eye or even the face or even at his body. Lissa was very concerned as to what would happen to me, and that humming worry verging on panic flying through the bond was not helping in the slightest. I ended up having to block the bond, but I left just enough open to feel that she was still there.

I thought of telling Alex and the others that these people meant no harm, but I half hoped they would see them as a threat and take them down. I really would not have been sorry about it, so I didn't say anything. The guardians did notice, however, that there was a Moroi approaching us followed by an incredibly tall Dhampir. Xavier and Gabriel knew Dimitri, but Alex did not, and he was not about to let his guard down.

"Hi Lissa! Rose! What are you guys up to? How is Christian? Is he still treating you right?" She fired all of these off in such a quick succession that Lissa didn't have a chance to answer; all she managed to get out was a 'Hi, Tasha' before the conversation shifted. I hadn't seen her since we left court, but she was overdoing it just a little bit. It could have something to do with the fact that Dimitri was standing next to her and not me.

Alex surprised me by not asking Tasha who she was. This could mean only one of two things: either he was slacking on his guardian duties or he had met her before.

Sizing up Dimitri, Alex stuck his hand out to introduce himself.

"Alex," he said, introducing himself.

"Dimitri," Dimitri said. Pain roared through my heart. He was so close after being so far for so long. Lissa's eyes were on me. I must have been doing a good job of hiding my turmoil if Lissa was the only one to catch on.

"So, you must be Dimitri's replacement," said Tasha.

"I am?"

If he had met her before, names and faces apparently didn't stick with him.

"Well, seeing as you are the only new face here with the princess, you must be. He left so he could be my guardian since I had none. You must be very good to be able to fill his place at the academy and to be a suitable guardian for Lissa."

"Guardian Whylde, please excuse me for a moment," I said. I had no idea where I was going, but I needed to walk around for a minute. I felt like I was sitting in a cage with Dimitri so close.

I stood and brushed past Tasha, and then consequently past Dimitri. I flinched enough for him and Lissa to notice. Alex had noticed as well, because he was watching me when I had finally gotten past them. "Lissa, would you please come with me? Since you are still my charge, I can't let you out of my sight."

"Sure," she said. Mercifully, she just complied instead of doing what she was thinking and making me confront him.

We walked toward the edges of the food court and made our way around the crowds of people bustling here and there. I wasn't totally out of Alex's sight, but we were far enough away that he wouldn't overhear things.

"Rose, are you ok?"

"No."

"Do you want to leave?"

Yes. "No."

"What can I do?"

"I don't know."

"We can ditch them, finish shopping, and then go out to dinner. That way we can still get in our whole day and not have to go back to the academy sooner than planned. Would that be ok?" She wanted me to still be ok and not dwell on Dimitri being here. She knew that if we went back now, I would never get out of my bed again.

I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and have him tell me it was all a mistake. Sadly, that was not going to happen, so I collected myself as best I could and told her that that sounded fine. She was not convinced, but she was afraid that I was going to isolate myself if I was pushed, so she let it drop.

We decided to stop by an ice cream shop on the way back to our group. Whoever says that ice cream doesn't make it better is full of it. Ice cream fixes everything.

As we approached, I kept my eyes busy, looking everywhere except at him. I stayed standing so I wouldn't have to pass him again. That earned me a look from Alex. I didn't care. Let him deal with the most devastating thing that could possibly happen and then we would see who was giving who a look.

As Tasha and Alex finished talking, Lissa told me she needed to use the ladies room. We parted from the group again, heading to the bathroom.

When we got in there it hit me. I felt like I was going to puke. I pulled Lissa back against the wall. There was no time to push her back through the door.

About .5 seconds later, there was a huge crashing sound and the access door that was the janitor's closet burst open. A male Strigoi came bursting out into the aisle between the stalls. I charged him, lashing out at him while he was getting his bearings. Seeing as how he only took a second to do this, the period in between his inactivity to when his zeal to kill me kicked in was nonexistent.

"Run! Go to Alex!" I screamed at her.

The door opened and closed and I thanked God she was out of there.

"It will make no difference. We know where she is. We know how to get her. We will not stop. She will be dead before she leaves here Miss Hathaway." The Strigoi said coldly. The curl of his lip made my think he was not bluffing, and if that was the case, we needed to get out of here.

And how the hell did he know who I was?

"How do you know me?" I asked, dodging a lethal blow. He spun, trying to get closer to the door and away from me. It did not work. I raked him with my stake. He was not a new Strigoi, but he wasn't super old like Isaiah had been; the stake affected him. Of course, it affects all Strigoi, but their age seems to have some correlation with their resistance to pain. This Strigoi had also been a dhampir, so his resistance to pain had already been heightened before he turned.

Then I heard the door opening. I knew it was Dimitri and Alex. It had only been about thirty seconds since this fight had started.

His momentary distraction was all I needed. I feinted a kick and went for the line to his heart when he went to grab my leg. He was bending down, so all I had to do was thrust up. He stopped struggling as soon as the silver met his heart.

I pulled my stake out and shoved him off of me. Because he had been coming at me, his own force is what killed him, so naturally he had landed on me after he was dead. Gross. On the flip side, if I had somehow missed, I would have been the one who was dead, so I couldn't really be too put out by it.

I looked up and saw Alex and Dimitri looking at me.

"We need to get out of here. He said there were more. We need to leave right now. Where is Lissa? Come on! We need to go!"

"I need to call the Alchemists," Alex said pulling out his phone on the way back out of the bathroom. I found Lissa and pulled her close to me. Alex, Dimitri, Gabriel, and Xavier formed a sort of a bubble around Lissa and me. Tasha, much to my dismay, was in the middle as well putting her close to me, but now was not the time to be petty. My mission was to make sure the Moroi got out alive. Alex was leading the way to the cars and talking on the phone very softly. Dimitri was behind me, about four inches away. Despite everything, he made me feel safe.

Thankfully, we parked somewhere that had natural sunlight spilling over the cars. Alex got in first, and sat next to the opposite door, putting Lissa in the middle and me next to the other door. Dimitri sat in the front, putting Tasha in the back next to Gabriel. Xavier was driving. We left the other SUV because there was no time to get to the other car. It wasn't that there were Strigoi chasing us, it was that nobody wanted to waste time messing with other cars while there were two Moroi lives on the line.

Not wasting any time, Xavier pulled out of the nearest exit from the parking garage and got on the highway heading back to the academy.

**A/N I am so sorry about the wait! This was a huge chapter for me to write because of the description and the accuracy I hopefully harnessed. I had to rewrite the ending of this chapter about five times because I just couldn't get it right. I am still not 100% sure about it, but this was by far the best version I had written. I would rather write something worth reading than post something just to post something****J****. Anyways, I plan to put in a character description for Alex soon-like as in the next chapter-, so if you have any thoughts, please share! Please tell me what you think, be it good, bad, anything! Thank you guys so much for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

The ride back to the academy was almost completely silent. The guardians were too busy watching out the windows, and Lissa was contemplating how effective Spirit would be on a Strigoi. She hadn't told me about this yet, but I was aware that she had been thinking about it lately. Tasha's mood could practically be felt, buzzing in the air around me. She was on an adrenaline high, which was why she couldn't sit still, and she was ready to take on the first Strigoi she saw. I wasn't sure if she would act on it though.

The only thing to break the silence was Alex on the phone to the Alchemists, the academy, and whoever else he needed to call. He was glancing at me in three to five minute intervals, which made me a little bit uncomfortable. He didn't have to worry though. I wasn't the same little girl who had chopped off the head of two Strigoi and then felt horrible about it later. I still felt horrible about taking a life, no matter how evil, but I had grown up since then.

When we got about five minutes away from the gate to St. Vlad's, I started to feel nauseous.

"They are close. Really close. Oh my God."

Dimitri was the first to speak. Of the guardians there, he was the most familiar with my 'gifts,' so he understood what I was talking about.

"If the Strigoi are near, we will need a plan. Tasha? Lissa? Stay in the car. Do not get out no matter what. The only time you get out of the car is if a guardian comes to get you. Everyone, be ready."

As he finished his sentence, there was a huge crash from the back of the SUV, pushing us even faster than we were initially going.

Xavier braked very softly, so we wouldn't roll, and we slowed down. The SUV didn't even stop before the guardians and I piled out, leaving the moroi in the car.

Out of the forest came a ring of Strigoi. They surrounded the car. There were five of us and about twenty five of them. Slowly, they closed in, forcing us to come away from the car a little bit. We couldn't have them attack us and be so close to the moroi.

One feinted to my right and dodged left. I was ready though, and I lashed out at him. There was no room for stupid mistakes.

He was about a foot and a half taller than me, and he outweighed me considerably. I used this to my advantage and raked him with my stake, using his slight pause as a chance to push him back into two other Strigoi that flanked him. After that, all hell broke loose.

I had staked my second Strigoi in a period of five hours, and then a third, and then a fourth. Finally, there were only six left. I felt a jolt of surprise through the bond. It distracted me for a second, and I got knocked back into the SUV. My vision blurred for a split second and then I recovered. Hitting your head that hard was never a good thing, and I was pretty sure I had gotten concussion.

I got up and rammed the Strigoi in the side, away from the passenger door. She turned and I shoved my stake into her, not caring what it hit, as long as I made contact.

It worked.

Now that I had her full attention again, I was able to get a clear shot at her heart. I took it and she crumpled to the ground, dead. I turned to see something that I did not expect. It was Tasha, standing behind Dimitri, lighting his Strigoi on fire. Now I understood Lissa's reaction. Dimitri flinched a little bit, not expecting Tasha to be behind him, but the Strigoi was too distracted to notice. While Dimitri snapped back attention, he staked the Strigoi.

Meanwhile, the Strigoi Alex was currently fighting took notice of Tasha and started over to her.

"NO!" I screamed. I ran over to meet the Strigoi and pushed Tasha out of the way. She ended up on the ground. As I fought this one, a fatigue washed over me. I tried to shake it off, but I couldn't. Alex was coming up behind this Strigoi, planning to surprise attack him inasmuch as you can do that to a Strigoi.

Of course, the Strigoi heard him or sensed him, or something, because suddenly, the Strigoi turned, but not before delivering a blow to my head in the exact same spot as where I hit it on the car.

I crumpled. Someone caught me before I slammed into the ground, but I was too out of it to notice who it was. They gently slid me down to the ground and went to finish the fight. There were about three Strigoi left , so it should have been finishing up soon.

In my mind, I saw myself lying on the ground while Dimitri fought three feet from my body. Tasha was in the car next to me, and The other three guardians were finishing off their Strigoi as well.

Why was Tasha next to me?

Oh.

I was seeing through Lissa's eyes. Then, I saw nothing.

**A/N I swear I didn't forget about you guys! Finals and everything are happening and I got a new job! Woo Hoo! I know I said I was going to put in a description for Alex in this chapter, but I couldn't fit it in. It is coming though, I promise:)****. Any and all comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!**

**-Love DimitriAndRoza Belikov **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Ok, just a heads up, I ****_briefly _****touched on some medical things in this chapter, so forgive me if I used any of it in the wrong context. Please let me know if I did and I will fix it, or just bear with me :). Also, some language caution, but nothing too horrible. Thank you!**

Rose. Rose.

Rose!

"Rose! Come on, wake up! Lissa, is there anything you can do?"

It was as if his voice was floating. It was there, but it could slip away any time it wanted. His was such a beautiful voice though, and I loved it. I decided that I wanted to hold on to it so it would never float away again.

I clawed my way to the surface, fighting tooth and nail to open my eyes so I could see him.

A sudden hot and cold sensation washed over me. It was a familiar sensation, but I couldn't recall where I had felt it before. Slowly, slowly, my consciousness came back to me.

"She did have a pretty nasty concussion. There also may have been bleeding in her brain, but it's gone now. I healed it away."

I opened my eyes slowly. We were in the SUV with the seats in the back laid flat, making a huge trunk space. I looked up and I saw the eyes of my rescuer. They were a beautiful chocolate brown framed with shoulder length medium brown hair that had fallen out of its ponytail holder.

I felt a mixture of things while I was in Dimitri's arms. I still loved him very, very much. So much it was practically bursting from my chest. I also felt betrayal and hurt and confusion as to why he would care so much about me after he had so clearly chosen someone else. I tried to get up but there were two sets of hands holding me down. One set of those hands belonged to Dimitri.

The other set of hands, however, were attached to a tall –about 5'10''-, lean-muscled man. He was tanned naturally, and he had really dark brown hair. It was darker than mine and it was long enough to be styled with gel if he wanted it to be. His eyes were light brown and softened around the edges when I met them. I came to remember that this was Alex. Yes, this was Alex and he was Lissa's guardian.

Oh my God. Lissa.

"Lissa, are you ok? Did they touch you? Did you just heal me?" I asked that last question a little harsher than I had intended.

"Rose, I'm fine. Please try to calm down. We need to get you to Dr. Olendski. You had a pretty nasty concussion and probably would have died if I hadn't taken care of it. So, yes, I healed you. Get over it." Lissa left no room for discussion.

Meanwhile, Xavier was almost to the gates and I noticed Tasha was sitting against the back of the driver's seat, watching Dimitri with a worried look. She never met my eyes. I couldn't tell if she was truly just concerned for his wellbeing or if she was trying to avoid me. After all, she was the reason Lissa had to heal me in the first place.

It was true that I hit my head on the car before she got out of it, but she had also been given orders to stay inside. The point of those orders was to keep everyone alive. Her presence on the battlefield had been a huge distraction for everyone, myself included, so I had to charge that Strigoi before I could truly size him up because he was going to get Tasha.

I may not be her number one fan, but the mantra "they come first" had been drilled into me since preschool. I couldn't have just let her die. This was hard for me because she was with Dimitri right now, and that drove me nuts.

Speaking of Dimitri, I was still in his arms and dammit if I didn't want to stay there. I knew this would hurt me more in the long run, so I tried to get up again. This time, I caught Dimitri off guard and I succeeded in sitting upright. The problem was, I still felt really dizzy. I swayed and fell into Alex and he caught me.

Holy shit.

"Can you please just lay me on the floor?"

As soon as I was flat on my back, I felt Lissa's hands on my arm. She had been sitting next to Dimitri, but angled away from the direct line of the door.

"There is nothing else to heal. Your body is probably just in shock. You're injuries were pretty severe. You shouldn't walk though; you might just end up hurting yourself more."

"Thank you for healing me, Lissa. I'm sorry you had to."

She felt the weight of my words settle around us and she knew who they were directed at. Apparently Dimitri did too because he stiffened. We had gotten through the gate and up to the academy.

There was a team of about twenty guardians waiting for us.


	18. Chapter 18

I was the last one to get out of the car. Before Alex could say anything, Dimitri swept me up in his arms and carried me to the school's infirmary.

"Why do you care so much, Dimitri? You left, remember? You should just put me down and let me drag myself by my fingernails."

I mostly meant that, but I really didn't ever want him to let me go. I looked up at him and he was looking at me. He saw the pain on my face – pain not caused by physical injuries- and his carefully guarded mask melted away to reveal the agony he felt.

"Rose, I cannot explain right now. I will, I promise. But I can't right now."

"You promise, huh? Well promise away Mr. 'My Heart Belongs To You.'" I was starting to cry. Damn it all for not being able to get a grip, but I was feeling so many things right now.

We got to Dr. Olendski in about two minutes flat. She was a bit shocked to see Dimitri but didn't say anything. She immediately went about examining me, doing an eye test and a memory test and a plethora of others. Dimitri stood back watching me with worried eyes that shadowed the pain he had shown earlier. I was starting to believe him about there being bigger fish to fry than just his and my relationship. Either that, or I was just too blinded by my love for him to not see whatever shit he was going to try next. I decided to give him a chance. After all, trying to live without him had been unbearable. If I turned him away before hearing what he had to say, I would never be able to live with myself again.

Dr. Olendski gave me a clean bill of health, but parroted what Lissa said about being in shock. She ordered bed rest for the remainder of the day and no practices tomorrow. I could live with that.

As we were descending the stairs, Dimitri ducked into an empty hallway and pulled me along behind him. It was an access hallway, so it wasn't usually too busy. Also, it helped that it was Saturday, so the traffic through it would be nonexistent.

He carefully placed me into a discarded chair and knelt in front of me. He looked into my eyes for a few moments before he spoke.

"Roza, I never stopped loving you." My heart stuttered but I refused to show any reaction to his words. "If I had any other choice, I wouldn't have left."

"You did have another choice. You could have told me. That is what two people who care about each other do. They work it out. Why can't you tell me now? Even if it was something awful, you could have still confided in me. Didn't you trust me?" I love you. I didn't say those last words to him, but, oh, I wanted to.

"Oh, Rose, yes. I couldn't have said anything to you though. Even telling you now is not the best decision. It could put both you and Lissa in danger-

"Yes, because we have always been so safe in the past. Come on com- Dimitri," I stumbled over my words, "whatever it is, you should be able to trust that we can handle it together."

"What about exposing our relationship to everyone?"

"What relationship? You dumped me for her, remember? The icing on the cake is that she almost got me killed this evening. That would have been convenient, huh? I mean it would have gotten me out of the way so there wouldn't have been any distra-"

His lips came crashing down on mine.

**A/N Another cliffhanger! I know, I'm evil, but I was writing and I decided that it would be a great place to stop just for the sake of breaking up the chapters :) . I saw that someone was concerned about this turning into a Tasha/Dimitri and Rose/OC, and that is not my intention at all. If it had been, that is how I would have labeled it, I promise. I can't say any more without giving up the rest of my plot. **

**Also, I'm not sure how many chapters are left, but again, I am making this up as I go, so I will definitely tell you guys when I think the end is near, but I don't plan on it ending for a while :). I am having too much fun with this for it to just end! Thank you guys for reading and PLEASE FEEL FREE to comment! You guys have been really encouraging and it just makes me want to write even more! Thank you SOSO much!**

**-Love DimitriAndRoza Belikov**


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